


the missing piece i need

by belatedwannable



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Body Worship, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Non-Graphic Allusions To Sex, Non-Graphic Allusions to Violence, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26524456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belatedwannable/pseuds/belatedwannable
Summary: Taking down their corrupt spy agency requires Seongwu to leave behind Daniel, the man he loves, but they have one more night. This is the story of that night.
Relationships: Kang Daniel/Ong Seongwu
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18
Collections: K-Pop Ficmix 2020





	the missing piece i need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bugitonight (pikasoos)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikasoos/gifts).
  * Inspired by [gotta find you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14359569) by [bugitonight (pikasoos)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikasoos/pseuds/bugitonight). 



> Author’s Note: This was my first time remixing a fic and it was so much fun! I fell in love with the original work for its thrilling plot, intriguing backstory, and emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort! The specific line that inspired this remix was “‘I can hear you overthinking,’” and I wondered if I could write that moment from Seongwu’s perspective. The title of this work comes from the same Camp Rock song as the title of the original fic, but [this](https://youtu.be/Kw_DwHIdreI) is the song I had in mind as I wrote. Enjoy!

After night falls, overwhelming thoughts tend to creep up on Seongwu, flitting across his mind like the fireflies he loved watching in his grandparents’ backyard as a child. Blinking dots of doubt, worry, and fear clog his thoughts and he wishes he could replace all of them with the tiny bright white lights he used to find so mesmerizing. 

As if he can read his mind, Daniel comes up from behind to bundle him into a backhug. He’s fresh from the shower, warmth radiating off his body, his hair slightly damp. His broad shoulders and thick arms make Seongwu feel safe, tucked away from the messiness and complications woven into the fabric of their world. Daniel smells like the minty toothpaste they share on their bathroom counter and the woodsy body wash Seongwu gave him for Valentine’s Day.

“I’ll miss this,” Seongwu murmurs, soft enough that there’s a chance Daniel might not hear, that the words will disappear into the air.

  
  
“I’ll miss you too,” comes the reply, rumbling from somewhere deep inside Daniel’s chest. The sound reminds Seongwu of the thunder that used to frighten him. When he was little, he had the luxury of hiding beneath the covers, covering his eyes and ears from the outside danger. Now that he’s an adult, he doesn’t have that leeway.

Their agency has too much power and the highest authorities within it have conspired to make the world an unsafe place for people they deem inferior. That needs to change and such change cannot happen from the inside alone. They need someone the agency won’t be able to track. They need Seongwu, the spy whose acting can pass as truth with a scary degree of accuracy.

When the suggestion was first brought up, Daniel protested. He swore up and down he’d never let his boyfriend of over five years go on a mission this dangerous. Their group agreed and listed out every other possible option. There were initially enough options on the list to give them hope, but one-by-one, their allies began to disappear and their options dwindled. If they were going to take down the agency, they had to use Seongwu and they had to move quickly. 

And now, they only have tonight. Less than twenty-four hours until the riskiest move of their entire operation. Not that it would matter for the lovebirds’ hearts. They could have years together and it still wouldn’t be enough. 

Seongwu has one mission left on his list to complete before he leaves: to give Daniel a lifetime’s worth of love in one night, just in case something goes wrong. That’s why he lifts Daniel’s hand to his lips before turning and guiding him to the bed, hands on his hips like they do when they're slowdancing in their kitchen at midnight, waiting for cookies to bake in the oven.

When they’re settled on the bed, Daniel smiles lovingly up at him, framed by their abundance of fluffy pillows. He loves to cuddle them when Seongwu’s away on assignments. A twinge of pain goes through Seongwu’s heart that Daniel will be holding them and not him after tonight. “Whatever you want tonight,” he hears his boyfriend say. “Anything at all. I’m all yours.”

  
  
Seongwu’s mind is filled with thoughts he can’t speak out loud.  _ I want you to be mine forever. Last year, I planned it out. I was going to ask you with a ring and roses in a month, but I can’t, sweetheart. I can’t ask you to make a promise neither of us can keep. I can’t even ask you to wait for me. I don’t know how long we’ll be apart. I don’t know if I’ll come back from this. I don’t know whether I’ll even be able to look you in the eyes after tomorrow. I don’t know whether you’ll want to look at me at all.  _

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he pushes them aside because he has the rest of his life to ruminate over those thoughts. He only gets Daniel, brimming with love and life, for one more night. 

“Lay back and let me love you for a little while longer,” Seongwu murmurs, hovering over Daniel before capturing his mouth in a kiss. The minty fresh taste of peppermint lingers in his mouth and it reminds him of them at eight, Seongwu asking Daniel if he can give him his first kiss behind the slide on the playground. Back then, Daniel tasted like the peppermint candy he’d been sucking on after lunch. They’d called it ‘true love’s kiss’ back then and giggled at the name. On their first date as adults, they’d shared their first kiss after chocolate-covered mints and though neither of them said the words, they knew it was a true love’s kiss for real.

From Daniel’s lips, Seongwu traces achingly familiar paths over his lover’s tanned skin. His lips and fingers brush over constellations that he alone has mapped among Daniel’s birthmarks, over scars that tell their stories. There’s the one on his elbow from the bicycle crash that got them both grounded for a month. One on his knee from a crash landing off the swings. One on his hip from a bullet that got a little too close for comfort on a mission as they were on the run. 

Seongwu mouths over Daniel’s abs, miraculously unscarred though they’ve had some pretty impressively large and colorful bruises over the years. That will change tomorrow and Seongwu will be the one to change it. That part of the plan still twists something deep in his gut. Hurting Daniel, the one person he’s been protecting for most of his life, feels like a sin for which he’ll never be able to fully atone.

His mind flashes forward to a possible future where they get the reunion they so desperately crave. Images of tracing the new scar with his lips, pressing silent apologies around and upon the line, flood his thoughts. Seongwu wants that moment so badly and he’ll do everything in his power to get it, but so much is out of his hands that the task seems almost hopeless at the outset.

As his worries filter back to the forefront of his mind, Seongwu doesn’t realize he’s crying. He doesn’t feel the tears until Daniel’s thumb brushes across his cheek. “It’s alright to be afraid. You don’t have to hide it.” 

“I need to be strong for tomorrow,” Seongwu protests weakly, trying to convince both Daniel and himself, though the attempt is a total failure and he knows it.   


“Tomorrow will be here soon enough, but tonight, it’s just you and me. No walls.”

Seongwu remembers a starlit sky, sitting with Daniel on his parents’ roof. The night everything changed and they spoke of the feelings that had been simmering for years for the first time. It came after two weeks of Seongwu dodging Daniel’s ever-perceptive gaze and earnest questions. Daniel climbed up to softly knock on Seongwu’s window like a teen romance film they’d giggled about together. And like that romance movie, Seongwu climbed out to join him on the roof.

“Here’s the truth,” Daniel said, his fingers picking at the frayed hem of his favorite hoodie, “I love you. I’ve loved you since you won the school talent show with your dance skills, even though your shoe fell off in the middle of the song. If my love is what’s making things weird between us, then tell me and we’ll work through it. I don’t want to lose my best friend, but I can’t fix this if you won’t talk to me. You’re putting up walls. Let me in. No walls between us, not about this.”

Seongwu looked at him under the moonlight, soft and tender as if he was seeing Daniel for the first time. “I love you too. I wanted to tell you first. I had a speech planned out. I got you a red rose to go along with it, but then I got nervous and the rose wilted, so...”   
  


As Seongwu trailed off, Daniel took his hand and intertwined their fingers, the touch instantly soothing all his nerves. “You can tell me now,” he said, steady and warm, just like he’d always been. And Seongwu did. They told each other of their loves, how they started and blossomed into what they were on that night, trading sweet words until the dawn.

“No walls” quickly became their catchphrase of sorts, used on countless missions. It was “trust me” and “no secrets” and “follow my lead” all rolled into one. When Daniel’s insecurities almost overwhelmed him during training, Seongwu wrapped him in his arms and gently murmured “no walls”. He held his boyfriend as his self-doubt came out in whispers, and countered every point with reassurances. Once, when Seongwu was trapped in a literal hole in a wall, Daniel used a sledgehammer (very, very carefully) to pull him through. He couldn’t resist a cheeky “no walls” though Seongwu’s glare warned him that the joke was much too obvious to be funny. 

On this very important night, Seongwu hears those words as permission to let go. He’s run out of words for the moment and instead, his emotions come out in sobs against Daniel’s t-shirt. Ever since he can remember, Daniel has been there, the missing piece in Seongwu’s puzzle of a life. Imagine keeping a completed puzzle for the longest time only to knowingly take a single piece out. It goes against every instinct Seongwu has, but they have no options left. This is their only hope.

Daniel runs his fingers through Seongwu’s hair and rubs his back gently. As hard as they work, their missions don’t always have happy endings and Daniel’s shirts have borne silent witness to many of Seongwu’s tears over the years. Daniel knows the storm will pass quickly. Seongwu’s rainclouds of tears never last long, usually ending with a deep breath and an angelic look upwards, towards his lover’s face.

  
  
When Seongwu speaks, it’s not of emotions any longer and that’s alright. He's let them out in his own way. “I haven’t even showered yet,” he says between deep breaths to help him recover his composure. “I need to do that before tomorrow.”

“Mind if I join you? My shirt’s a bit...wet.” Daniel's sheepish grin is one of Seongwu's favorite sights in the entire world and he's grateful that he gets to see it again.

Seongwu nods and grabs his hand as they get out of bed. On their way to the bathroom, he says, “I’m sorry for turning it sad. I wanted to make our last night more special.”

  
  
Daniel laughs. “The last time we had sex, we were in a luxurious Swiss chalet. That was more than special enough. You needed what we did tonight and besides, you need your beauty rest.”

  
When they crawl back into bed, Daniel’s the one who’s lost in thought. Seongwu reassures him as best he can when they’re both exhausted and snuggles into his warmth for one more sleep. As he drifts off, his mind thinks about embers of a fire, holding heat even without an open flame.  _ Let our love be embers while we’re apart. Let the fire return when I do. _


End file.
